According to police from Murfreesboro, Tennessee a man was arrested Friday night after attempting to have sexual intercourse with an ATM machine and then a picnic table.
49-year-old Lonnie Hutton is said to have strolled into the Boro Bar and Grill, labeled via its website as the “cleanest little dive bar this side of the river,” where he made his way to the establishment’s in-house ATM machine. The arrest report indicated that Mr. Hutton then pulled down his pants and underbritches and attempted to have sexual relations with the cash dispensing device.
When officers arrived at the bar they found Hutton still walking around with his pants (and everything else) on the ground, while “thrusting his hips in the air.”
The police on the scene escorted Mr. Hutton out of the premises and requested that he have a seat at a wooden picnic table. Via News2, the report then stated that he “exposed himself again and engaged in sexual intercourse with the wooden picnic table.”
Mr. Hutton smelled of alcohol, was unsteady on his feet and suffered slurred speech along with bloodshot eyes. He was arrested and charged with public intoxication.
He’s scheduled for a court appearance on July 1 (courthouse stairs – you’ve been warned).