Miley Cyrus was heartbroken when her Alaskan Klee Kai puppy Floyd passed away in early April, as evidenced by her tweets about Floyd’s passing and her emotional outpouring on stage beside a huge inflatable replica of Floyd during a concert less than a week later. Some have even speculated that Miley’s grief over Floyd’s passing may have contributed to her hospital stay in mid-April.
Those speculations seem even more plausible now because yesterday Miley posted a lengthy letter on Twitter confessing that “there’s nothing I want more than to lay and drown this pillow in my tears & think about all my shoulda, coulda, wouldas.” She then asks, “why would the world take my sweet boy from me?” before adding, “a question an infinite amount of mothers before & after me will ask after losing their precious baby.”
“I was Floyd’s mommy,” Miley says. “I don’t know when the regret and the guilt will fade… I don’t know if it ever will. I feel like I let my boy down. my job was to protect him & I’m not a person that takes failure lightly.”
Her words get even more concerning later when she admits “I hate the fact that the worlds still spinning. i want it to stop… I want everyone’s heart to break the way my heart is breaking. I want everyone to feel the emptiness in their tummy like I am feeling.”
Miley then says “all I’m going to do is lay in this bed in this depressing hotel room and wish it wasn’t true. no matter how much I cry or beg of “god” to wake me up from this nightmare, it is what it is (atleast that’s what everyone keeps reminding me) there’s no waking up from reality.”
After posting the message, Miley shared this photo with the hashtag #sadpupilsarebeautifultoo in reference to the opening line of her post:
#sadpupilsarebeautifultoo pic.twitter.com/0mIZt2mu1W
— Miley Ray Cyrus (@MileyCyrus) May 17, 2014
Here’s the full letter from Miley:
sad pupils are beautiful too…. humans. we looooove to feel sorry for ourselves don’t we…ive read we are one of the only species (among dolphins, pigs, some primates) that have sex for pleasure, but I would bet we are the ONLY creatures that put ourselves thru pain for pleasure. What I mean by that is… how many times have you laid in bed and cried when the sun is out shining, your loved ones are out laughing, and there are thousands of brilliant books to be read…but CHOOSE to lay in bed and indulge yourself in sadness. today I am choosing to be that selfish human. there’s nothing I want more than to lay and drown this pillow in my tears & think about all my shoulda, coulda, wouldas. i keep asking why would the world take my sweet boy from me? a question an infinite amount of mothers before & after me will ask after losing their precious baby. I’m just a baby myself… I depend on my mother still. she is the one at the end of the day I want to hold me when I’m sad, scared, lonely…. her one job in this world is to keep me out of harms way. even though moms can’t always control it, a mothers greatest responsibility is to keep their baby from anyone hurting them physically or emotionally. I was Floyd’s mommy. I don’t know when the regret and the guilt will fade… I don’t know if it ever will. I feel like I let my boy down. my job was to protect him & I’m not a person that takes failure lightly. death lightly. love lightly. everything I do I do to the fullest. mostly loving. I love so much and so hard it hurts, so when I lose it is excruciating. today is one of those days where i can’t open the curtains to see the sun… open the windows to hear the world going on all around me because to be honest I hate the fact that the worlds still spinning. i want it to stop… I want everyone’s heart to break the way my heart is breaking. I want everyone to feel the emptiness in their tummy like I am feeling. my baby is gone & it’s out of my control. so today all I’m going to do is lay in this bed in this depressing hotel room and wish it wasn’t true. no matter how much I cry or beg of “god” to wake me up from this nightmare, it is what it is (atleast that’s what everyone keeps reminding me) there’s no waking up from reality. so today I am being a helplessly hopeless human & I’m ok with that.
Miley later shared a couple concerning tweets including “is the black at the end good?” and simply “F*********ck” She also posted this photo of her other pooches:
missing these precious little babies pic.twitter.com/L6u5foKXAY
— Miley Ray Cyrus (@MileyCyrus) May 17, 2014
Miley Cyrus is scheduled to perform at the Billboard Music Awards in Las Vegas later tonight. And just in case she’s reading this and needs a little boost from someone who knows exactly how’s she feeling, here’s a seemingly fitting song from Merle Haggard, the best in the world at getting as low and lower than you and making you feel not so alone in your aloneness. (The song is about lost love, but I think you’ll see that it fits.)
Song: “Stop the World (And Let Me Off)”
