During Texas Senator Ted Cruz’s all-night stand against the funding of Obamacare he called upon the cast of Duck Dynasty for inspiration and to drive home a point about his particular hopes for the country moving forward.
Cruz spent 21 hours and 19 minutes trying in every way to explain why he feels that Obamacare is bad for America. At one point, he called upon the philosophies of Phil, Jase, Willie and Silas Robertson. News outlets have pointed out this wasn’t a filibuster but in a way it was kind of a Phil-a-buster…
I’ve found the particular footage in which Cruz let the bearded ones speak for him:
And here’s the full transcript of Cruz’s Duck Dyansty thoughts during his all-nighter:
“Millions of Americans tune in to Duck Dynasty so I just want to point out just a few words of wisdom from Duck Dynasty and probably good for all of us to hear. Willie observed, ‘You put 5 rednecks on a mower, it’s gonna be epic.’ Phil said, ‘In a subdivision you call 911. At home I am 911.’ Si said, ‘Some people say I’m a dreamer. Others say if you fall asleep at work again we’re gonna have to let you go. Jase said, ‘Redneck rule #1 – most things can be fixed with duct tape – extension cords.’ That’s actually very true. Phil said, ‘I think our problem is a spiritual one.’ Phil also said, ‘When you get older and you start dating I want you to be able to say one thing, ‘I can bait a hook.’ One day maybe Caroline and Catherine (Cruz’s daughters) will be able to say that.”
Phil also said very simply, ‘Happy, happy, happy!’ I say this to the Junior Senator from Utah, when we defund Obamacare we’re all gonna be happy, happy, happy. Miss Kay said, ‘Our marriage is living proof that love and family can get you through everything.” Si said, ‘I live by my own rules, reviewed, revised and approved by my wife but still my own.’ Jep said, ‘Faith, family and facial hair.’ I’ll point out to the Junior Senator from Utah if we continue doing this long enough we may have facial hair on the floor of the Senate.”
“Willie said, ‘Are you kidding me? I’m straight up Hunger Games with a bow.’ Si said, ‘Ford F-150, Chevy Silverado, Dodge Ram, Toyota Tundra… As a married man these are the only pick up lines I’m allowed to use.’ Jase said, ‘Where I come from your truck is an exact reflection of your personality.’ Si said, ‘I make up people all the time to get out of stuff.’ Si also said, ‘A redneck walking into Bass Pro Shops gets more excited than a 12-year-old girl going to a Justin Beaver concert. Let me point out that that is Justin Beaver, b-e-a-v-e-r. Si also said, ‘Your beard is so hairy even Dora can’t explore it.’ Si also said, ‘Your beard’s so stupid, it takes 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.’ Finally Si said, ‘I am the MacGyver of cooking. You bring me a piece of bread, cabbage, coconut, mustard greens, pig feet, pine cones and a woodpecker; I’ll make you a good chicken-pot-pie.'”
“Now let me suggest that kind of homespun wisdom is what this country was built on. It’s who we are.”
The Senate will hold its first procedural vote on the continuing resolution from the House this afternoon.
