On occasion the seemingly mundane antics of celebrities border on fine art. (How can anyone deny the aesthetic purity of a gangsta-wannabe professional athlete accidentally shooting himself in the leg at a nightclub or naming your child Bronx Mowgli?) We here at starcasm believe these moments are worthy of framing and placement in a museum, but until we gain influence in the museum world, we will just do our best to educate the public in celebraesthetics. Whenever a famous person does something adequately inspiring, we will honor it with the treatment normally reserved for museums and textbooks.

Our first inspiration is Amy Winehouse’s recent Gauguin-like escape to the Caribbean. Although the famous impressionist painter escaped to the Polynesian islands instead of the Caribbean, there can be no doubting the similarity in genius that drove each from the insanity of European life. (Paul Gauguin would also never go to rehab – no, no, no!) Amy has been able to express herself by living out her own Gauguin painting, going “native” up top and blessing locals and tourists alike with jiggly walks on the beach and erotic hooterific balcony dances. In honor of these beautiful moments, we have immortalized Amy in a replica of a section of Gauguin’s classic painting “Where Do We Come From? What Are We? Where Are We Going?” (We flip-flopped the composition to fit Amy’s pose) We believe a bare chested crack addict singer from Camden answers all of these questions and more! Bidding will start at $400 million.

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