Gretchen Rossi came back into our lives last night, and as we’ve all known for a while, she’s dating a Real Douche Slade Smiley. We just found out that Slade Smiley owes $80,000 in child support, and his own time to his very sick son, so it’s hard to watch the staged “goof off” scenes with Gretchen, especially when he sits on the motorcycle Gretchen’s dead “fiance” Jeff bought her. In voice-over, Gretchen says she thinks Jeff actually sent Slade to her. Since Slade’s such a slimebag, maybe that’s actually true if Jeff was a little pissed with her.
Of course, the kicker was Gretchen’s “beach scene with the chihuahuas.” Tamra’s not my favorite girl, but her Oscar comment seems very fitting here, though I’m not sure this performance is good enough to be nominated. Gretchen sits on the beach and constantly asks the little dogs if they miss their daddy while they look like they’re taking a poop. She also created a shrine to Jeff, including an urn which she claims contains half of his ashes. It probably really contains ashes from a blunt party, but I don’t know. No matter what happened between them, I’m sure Gretchen and Jeff had some sort of “arrangement” they both were satisfied with.
Here’s Gretchen’s explanation of why she’s dating Shade Slimy:
Below you can see more of Gretchen’s drama from the Season 5 opener, including her moment on the beach, and the controversy over Gretchen’s “dirty” pictures:
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