First there were reports that the infamous sex tape that helped launch the career of Kim Kardashian may have been masterminded by her mother, Kris Jenner, and now there are reports that not only did Kris Jenner potentially orchestrate her daughter’s sex tape, she has one of her own!
The National Enquirer spoke with somebody who knew somebody who rode in a taxi with somebody who overheard somebody who says Robert Kardashian told O.J. Simpson that he overheard Kris telling her girlfriend all about the scandalous tape! (I added a few degrees of separation in there, but the last 20 words are pretty straight forward.)
“Robert said Kris was talking about how liberating it was to be filmed having sex and how it was a turn-on to watch herself with her lover,” revealed a close source. “She said she felt like a porn star.
“When Robert heard that, he confronted Kris. But she laughed it off, telling him she was just kidding around. She said she knew he was there and wanted to teach him a lesson about eavesdropping on her conversations with her girlfriends.
“Robert wasn’t sure what to believe, so he told O.J. about it to see what he thought.”
As you probably know, O.J. has reportedly bragged about hooking up with Kris Jenner in the 1980s (sparking rumors that he may actually be Khloe’s dad) and Kris was rather forthcoming about her torrid affair with her boy toy soccer player Todd Waterman. Plus, it is well documented that Kris Jenner was not afraid to make racy videos in the 1980s (The screenshot above is from her now infamous “I Love My Friends” music video — click the link to watch!), and she recently got a gig pitching Zestra arousal oils, so of course it’s no big leap that there may be a Kris Jenner sex tape out there somewhere.
What is a big leap, however, is The National Enquirer‘s conclusion that if the tape surfaced, it could be “devastating” to the family’s empire. “If a Kris Jenner sex tape is released, it could destroy the Kardashian brand and be the final straw for her marriage to Bruce, which is already hanging by a thread,” said the close source.
It’s kind of hard to destroy a brand with something identical to what started it in the first place. And I confess that I might actually like the Kardashians a little more if some terrible 1980s themed sex tape featuring Kris Jenner and some dude making sweet love to Huey Lewis turned up!
Here’s some mood music to help your imagination…
The song is so perfect, I’d like to suggest that if there is indeed a Kris Jenner sex tape, and it does someway, somehow manage to surface, that they should call it “On Her Back To The Future.” (You can remove the letter “L” for your own “flux capacitor” joke.)