60-year-old Valerie, of Doylestown, OH, is sharing her heartbreaking and shocking story with the world in hopes of helping others. Eight years ago Valerie found out that her late husband Percy Spruill, was actually her father (he died in 1989 a the age of 60.) But, his wasn’t the first “family secret” Valerie had had to deal with, at age nine she had discovered that the man she thought was her dad was her grandfather, and a “family friend” was her mother. In 2004 an uncle confirmed to Valeria that Percy was her dad (she had been hearing “odd whispers” for years,) and just to make sure she tested DNA from hair she found on an old hairbrush.
Understandably, this news really set her back for awhile. She’s dealt with emotional and health problems because of it but she’s received help and healing through counseling and religion. Her therapist has helped her realize that none of this is her fault.
“I’ve been getting great help, because, God knows, if I hadn’t of went and aired out how I feel, I wouldn’t have made it, because I would have continued to stress out about this problem.”
Her dad got her mom pregnant when he was only 15, and Valerie still isn’t sure he knows she is his child. Deep down, though she thinks he knew, and has struggled these past eight years with feelings of hate for him.
She’s now speaking out to help others who might be going through similar situations (not everyone has THIS happen to them, but so many people struggle with incest and painful family secrets) and feel like they’re alone. Valerie’s also hoping to connect with some unknown siblings that may be out there. Right now it’s unknown exactly how many children her had (three of them were with Valerie.) Valerie also has estranged siblings from her mom, who was known as a “night woman,” which probably means she was a prostitute.
“My biggest goal is to find them and let ’em know that [their mother] loved them, no matter what. And [to tell them], ‘Thank God she gave you away like she did me, so you could have a beautiful life.’
“It’s not a shame to be given away. Most of the time it’s a blessing.
“And you have to see that blessing that God gave you and accept that hand. Because everybody’s dealt a hand, and it’s not always good and it’s not always bad. But if you live that hand that God gave you, it’s gonna be all right. It’s gonna be all right. Yes, it is.”
Valerie wants her story to be one of inspiration, and it certainly is. It sounds like she had a terribly trying life even before she found out her late husband was her dad, and then she was faced with dealing with complicated and overwhelming feelings that most people can’t understand. But some people probably do understand, and need to hear Valerie’s story to help them heal.
“I want this to be more of an inspirational story. If I’ve come through this, anyone can come through anything through the help of the Lord.”