Jacqueline Laurita infamously missed the Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 3 Reunion Special. At the time, she claimed to be sick. However, there was much more to it than just being ‘sick.’ Jacqueline eventually revealed to fans that she had a “breakdown” during filming on season 4 and couldn’t handle the pressure of a reunion show. Now that season 4 is airing, fans will get to see what led her to such a dark place.

In the meantime, Jacqueline has revealed a few details. “The truth is, I had a breakdown,” Jacqueline said in a blog for Bravo. ”It was too difficult for me to go to the Season 3 reunion, because I was very drained emotionally and overtired from crying all night out of frustration and sadness. It would have been very difficult to look at Teresa and not be able to express what I was actually feeling.”

“There were a lot of things going on. A lot of things behind the scenes, actually. It was a long build-up. There were a lot of things that got me to that breaking point,” Jacqueline told Ranu’s Reviews. “I just had enough of everything. I just didn’t want to be involved in anything. I just wanted to be alone. I went through something.”

Notably this season was the end of Jacqueline’s friendship with Teresa Giudice. After 15 years, Jacqueline began to catch Teresa in lies and contradictions which resulted in the confrontation fans saw during last week’s episode. This week, fans will once again see Jacqueline go head-to-head with Teresa. When Teresa claims to be “hurt and disappointed,” to which a frustrated Jacqueline says, “So am I.” Teresa pushes Jacqueline a little bit further by comparing their situation to her brother’s son’s Christening. The end of this relationship seems more like a bitter divorce.

Here’s a preview clip of Jacqueline tearfully telling the Bravo cameras “I completely broke down, I had a breakdown:”

Here is Teresa telling Jacqueline how hurt and disappointed she is by Jacqueline not wanting to be her friend anymore. Jac replies that she doesn’t know what’s real and what’s fake anymore with Teresa. In interview Teresa calls Jacqueline a “pyscho bitch” and says she should have punched her in the face:

Late, Teresa raises red flags with cousin Kathy Wakile when she calls Kathy to have lunch with her for the first time in years right after her fight with Jacqueline:

“There is a lot of relationship shifting with season 4. I think by the time the reunion comes out a lot will be explained,” Jacqueline concludes. Stay tuned! Real Housewives of New Jersey season 4 is currently airing on Sunday nights at 10/9c on Bravo!