
Hey Sam! Ya want a piece of this?
Aubrey O’Day of the oft forgotten “Diddy”-approved fake girl-band on Making the Band 3, Danity Kane is desperate for a piece of relevance. She’s been outspoken lately, critiquing Heidi Montag’s Playboy photos, and now confessing her crush on the object of Lindsay Lohan’s obsession.
Now, no one can blame a girl for saying that Heidi Montag sucks, but honestly that’s just shooting fish in a barrel. What really takes balls (and by balls, I mean plastic implants) is to provoke a starved, crazed, obsessed, and recently burglarized coke(a-cola?) fiend. That’s right, Aubrey O’Day, dizzy of the fumes from promoting her new single and triumphant Playboy cover, was poking a hornet’s nest when she gushed to the lesbian mag Curve about her undying crush on everyone’s favorite itunes player Samantha Ronson.

Samantha has to carry a stick to fend off the ladies.
She’s either got big kahunas, or has a head full of helium. Here’s what she said:
“Every time I see her, I want to go over and talk to her, but it’s like she’s going to be like, ‘You’re that girl that tried to say you’re gay everywhere,’ and I’m like, ‘No, I promise — get to know me. We’d be perfect together.’ Lindsay and that relationship made it such a joke. It was just, like, on every cover, on every tabloid. Their relationship has been her job for the past year. You just can’t live up to that entire Disneyland circus that went on in your relationship.”
She says that she wants to get it on with Samantha Ronson, but she’s really insuring herself against Samantha Ronson ever speaking to her in either this lifetime or the next. If that’s part of her plan because deep down she never, ever wants to see or talk to SamRo, then well played Aubrey O’Day. Well played.

Lindsay will FIGHT for her love
What she can be sure of is getting herself on the Lindsay Lohan sh*t list at the number one spot. This is a top honor very recently occupied by Michael Lohan himself, so Audrey should be very proud. Also, Aubrey should change her name, get a new face, and start up a quiet goat farm in the Himalayas if she knows what’s good for her.
~ Carrie Glass
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