Evan Rachel Wood And Marilyn Manson Break Up. New Movie For Gothzilla?
          

The formerly famous invisigoth rocker Marilyn Manson has maxed out yet another human being’s attention span. Actress/girlfriend Evan Rachel Wood becomes the 6,602,224,175th person to grow tired of Manson’s shock antics, breaking up with Marman and ending a relationship that started back in December of 2006.

The boredom may have been the biggest contributing factor in the make-up break up, but the straw that broke the camel’s back was Manson insisting that Evan’s slacker brother Ira move out of the guest house, a guest house owned by Evan. In our not-so-creative imagination we envision Ira to be a stereotypical jock big brother that constantly harangued Marilyn with well crafted barbs like: “Hey Pansy! After you finish your breast exam get me a beer!” or “Listen pretty boy, as long as you’re living under my sister’s roof you’ll do as I say. Now give me your ice cream.”

Marman finds himself single in an unfriendly market for his ilk. Women are only able to find one alterna-edgy black haired goth guy attractive at a time, and currently the title is held by Criss Angel. Without the possibility of a hot sugar momma, and since a new album would only bring in an estimated $137, rumors are already swirling that Manson may have to resort to desperate measures to prevent having to move into his sister’s guest house. May we suggest a movie deal? Here’s a high concept comedy guaranteed to be a HUGE success:
Marilyn Manson new movie Major Movie Star

Under-shocked audiences in Russia and Bulgaria are already excited! There is no word when, or if, the movie will open in the US.

(Not up on really really really bad movie references? Just click here and here to catch up)

****UPDATE 11/09/08Evan responds to break up news.

****UPDATE 07/19/09Evan’s got a new man

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    • http://yogaforcynics.blogspot.com YogaforCynics

      I got bored with Marilyn Manson the first time I heard him. I’d been reading this article where he said the band nearly broke up while recording their latest (at the time) album because the music was was so close to the edge of chaos (or something like that). So, having always been a fan of free jazz and noise rock, I thought “this sounds cool,” went and found some MM to listen to, and was rewarded for my efforts with…some pretty average sounding glam-metal.

      Still, if Evan Rachel Wood goes for older men…you got her e-mail?

    • http://mompopson.blogspot.com/ Ann

      A break-up after she almost become Dita’s clone?

      Hope she gets back her old looks.

    • http://theoopsbank.com Joao

      Really amazing! Clever and good humor

    • http://kroatienkarte.blog.com/ Evan

      Hey!. Your post Rachel Wood And Marilyn Manson Break Up. New Movie For Gothzilla? – is very interesting for me. My written English is not so good so I write in German: “Lieber den Spatz in der Hand, als die Taube auf dem Dach.” Yours sincerely Thursday Evan

    • Starcasm

      That last post was a little wacky, but we had to approve it when we ran his statement through an online translator and found out it means: “Dear the sparrow in hand, as the dove on the roof.” Whoah! That is some serious Zengeist!

 

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