Yesterday I started the countdown for the “Top 15 Starcasm Teen Mom Photoshop Moments” with entries 15 through 9, including a badass Amber Portwood Sucker Punch poster and an image of Kieffer Delp that McDonald’s REALLY doesn’t want you to see! Today I’m going to finish out the countdown with my top eight entries, including one that might get me into a bit of trouble.
But, before I get started, I wanted to say something I forgot to include in the first post. Some fans may be upset that their favorite cast member isn’t well represented on this list, but you have to remember that in order for me to have reason to hop into Photoshop for a story there had to be a story in the first place, and as you know some of the Teen Moms are better (worse?) at grabbing headlines than others.
Jenelle and Amber for example have more starcasm stories about them than the other six girls combined. Easily. Meanwhile, girls like Catelynn and Chelsea rarely make headlines outside of cute baby pictures or Butch Baltierra’s latest run-in with the law. I just wanted to explain why some of the girls may seem under-represented on this list, and that fans of those girls should be proud rather than upset. (Do Chelsea Houska fans really want her dating someone who gets arrested for stealing meat from a grocery store?)
Also, I wanted to say that with these altered images it was my intention to add a bit of levity and entertainment value to the stories, and I always make a conscious effort to avoid being mean or spiteful – I hope that comes across.
I’ll shut up now! On with the countdown… (Oh, click on any of the images to see the original post, and in most cases, a larger version of the photo.)
This image was inspired by the announcement that Kailyn Lowry and boyfriend (at the time) Jordan Wenner had launched their own online Amway store and was simply my vision of what the inevitable outcome would look like a few years down the road.
I don’t know why I like this one as much as I do. I seriously doubt that I could win a jury trial of “Kail-Mart vs. Hamburglar Delper” in a court of awesome, but there’s something about the happy feeling in this photo that made me proud to be an American. (Perhaps I am overstating things, but I’ve got to win over as many jurors as I can, right?)
You can help this dream photo become a reality by clicking on the photo and following the link. C’mon! Who doesn’t want to be able to buy a 12-pack of Kail’s Choice Cola?!? Oh, and if you check out the original post there’s another altered image that not many readers picked up on – see if you can spot it!
7. Farrah as a Miami Dolphins Cheerleader
This image went along with a story about Farrah Abraham attending a Miami Dolphins preseason game, which included photos of Farrah posing with some of the players (who looked like they were more excited to take a picture with a Teen Mom than the other way around!).
As with most of the photos on this list I intended the end result to be funny, but when I finished I had to tip my hat to the undeniable libidinous power of cheerleader uniform because Farrah was lookin’ damn good! Yeah, I said it! I guess there’s a reason professional cheerleading outfits look the way they do, and that’s because they work.
I might even go so far as to say I think this photo is sexier than the original picture of Farrah in her teeny tiny bikini! I don’t even want to think about my reaction if she had been at a Washington Redskins game… (The phrase Teen Mommm nom nommm comes to mind.)
***Even Farrah was impressed because she shared the photo on Twitter. I’ve got $10 bucks that says that after she saw this picture she at least googled what it takes to be an NFL cheerleader! (I’m embarrassed to say she would have my full support!)
6.There’s Something About Maci
This Maci movie mash-up came about when I did a post featuring an interview with the cast of Teen Mom (sans Amber Portwood) in which the girls talked about Amber’s suicide attempt as well as how their lives had changed since becoming “reality stars.” In the clip Maci had a gravity-defying hairdo that instantly made me think of Cameron Diaz’s rather unfortunate choice of hair gel in the movie There’s Something About Mary – and the rest is history!
If only there had been some way that I could have changed the dog in a body cast to Kyle King’s leg…
5. Kieffer Delp As A Monk
This is for all those followers of the zen of Delp! The hemp huffin’ hobo beau of Jenelle Evans swaps out the orange prison garb he is accustomed to and dons the robes of a Buddhist monk. If you missed this image the first time around you’re probably asking yourself, “What in the world could have inspired starcasm to put Kieffer Delp in Buddhist monk robes?!?” Ahhhhh, young grasshoppa – you have much to learn. Confucius say, “Jenelle Evans is like auto body damage repair – she should never be underestimated.”
This iconic image was inspired by Jenelle Evans’ trip to a Buddhist temple in North Carolina, where she went to seek spiritual counseling from one of the monks. No, seriously! CLICK HERE to see the photos! Can you say, “Teen Mommmmmmmmmmmmmmm… mommmmmmmmmmmmmm… mommmmmmmmmmm…” Or how about “The Delper Lama?”
I think my favorite story about this image is that Jenelle shared it on her Facebook wall without much of an explanation which had the commenters absolutely freaking out for an explanation!
5. Precious Starring Amber and Gary
OK, this is the one that’s gonna get me in some hot water. I wrote the original post just after the shocking episode of Teen Mom aired in which Amber assaulted Gary as he was moving out of their apartment. The scene involved a television set and Gary being attacked while walking down a stairwell, which instantly made me think of the harrowing scene from Precious in which Precious’ mom (an absolutely terrifying – and Oscar Award winning – performance by Mo’Nique) throws a television at her down a stairwell.
I realize that domestic violence is never funny, but I thought the comparison was frighteningly accurate and, if anything, highlighted the seriousness of what Amber had done. Please, before you post an angry comment about the inclusion of these images, read the original post in which I think I did a good job of putting them in context.
(Actually, I don’t think the “It’s Gary Time” Precious poster is all that controversial – it’s the startling image of Amber as Mo’Nique’s character Mary Jones. Perhaps because it turned out not looking silly at all?)
3. “All The Single Ladies” Of Teen Mom 2
This one was in honor of all the girls from Teen Mom 2 (Chelsea Houska, Leah Messer, Jenelle Evans, and Kailyn Lowery) who were suddenly all single at the same time back in May. (The story was rather shocking at the time because word was just spreading that Leah Messer had filed for divorce from Corey Simms.)
The girls were all consoling each other on Twitter and I was inspired to Photoshop their heads onto the black and white dancers from the video and dedicate the post to them as a show of support for MTV’s most eligible bachelorettes. Perhaps it’s because of the wonderful song by Beyonce, or perhaps it’s the image of all four girls shaking their tail feather in solidarity, but whenever I find reason to revisit this post it always makes me smile wider than any of the others. I only wish the girls could get together and make a real video singing along to the song and shakin’ those Teen Momkadonks at their exes! (Be sure to click the audio under the photo for the full effect!)
***I want to use this entry to address something familiar to any casual surfer of the internet: haters. I’ve learned a lot from writing hundreds of articles about Teen Mom and Teen Mom 2, but perhaps nothing was more eye-opening than seeing the amount of hate and vitriol these young mothers inspire in others. The original “All The Single Ladies” post was all about good vibes and wishing the girls well, but people started leaving nasty, nasty comments about the photo and calling the girls fat… What is wrong with people? We thnk it’s important to approve comments that are negative because people’s opinions count, even if they aren’t always positive. But, there are SOOOOOO many comments that are so hateful and mean that we can’t approve them! We actually had a meeting in which we talked about not approving any comment wishing that someone in the post was dead or raped or otherwise viciously injured. And it wasn’t a hypothetical meeting! It was a meeting to address all the comments like that we were getting on the site! I really can’t imagine what these girls have to read on their fan pages or Twitter accounts when all the nastiness is completely unedited. Oh, and of course this post had the inevitable commenters who wanted to be the first to point out the the image had been Photoshopped and those weren’t really the Teen Mom 2 girls dancing. Really?
2. Amber Gary “American Gothic”
This image came about just after the no contact order was lifted between Amber Portwood and Gary Shirley, but it could have been created at any time since the couple’s first appearance on 16 and Pregnant. Inspired by the famous painting “American Gothic” by artist Grant Wood it features the iconic duo as they might have looked a hundred years ago – with the exception of Gary’s hat and possibly his earring.
Hmmmm… Me talking about the photo seems silly. It says all it needs to say on its own.
2. Life & OKUStar Tabloid Cover
It probably goes without saying, but I’m gonna say it anyway – this faux tabloid cover was an homage to these publications’ ability to make up a seemingly unending stream of ridiculous stories – most all of which were inspired by some “inside source” willing to say just acout anything for a few bucks. At the time I thought I might create more of these when highlighting the week’s Teen Mom “tabloidegery” but the combination of how much work it took and the fact that nobody really seemed to notice it kind of put the kabosh on that grand notion. (Part of that was my fault because the changes I made to Amber’s right side turned out to be a bit more subtle than I had thought.) But, the premiere issue of Life & OKUStar did come out, and it will be there for generations to enjoy!
(I think my favorite part is the Brandon and Teresa story.)
Thanks to all our dedicated Teen Mom readers and to the Teen Moms themselves because they have been great sports about all this silliness and have helped us out on numerous occasions in our attempts to make sure we have the facts straight about what is going on in their lives. (When their MTV contracts allow it.) I look forward to more hours spent in the the ol’ Photoshop as another season of Teen Mom 2 rolls around and Teen Mom returns for its fourth season in the coming months. Not that being on TV matters with headline grabbers like the incomparable Jenelle Evans!